Ordinary People?

Some time yesterday, I watched President Obama introduce Nebraska Governor Kathleen Sebelius to lead his new health reform effort. The governor used the phrase "ordinary people." It's not the first time I've heard the phrase, but it suddenly struck me as odd. Maybe my high expectations for our new president are making me pay closer attention to such things.

Is the term being used as a euphemism for we working stiffs and retired folk? Is there some kind of class thing going on here? According to my Dictionary, the word means "commonly encountered, usual, of no exceptional degree or quality." I hate to break the news, but the "upper class" people I know who are (or at least used to be) in better financial shape than I am fit that description better than I do. Many of them are the most "ordinary" human beings I know.

If politicians are going to address the middle and lower classes, why not just use the correct language? I'm already plagued by sleepless nights over the near-evaporation of my nest egg. I worry about my kids and pray their jobs won't disappear. Am I one of the ordinary people politicians are going to help? I'd really like to know.

The more I think about this issue of "class," I'm reminded of how the definitions have changed. Growing up in the '50s and '60s, our family was considered blue collar or working class. My father was an auto mechanic and my mother a seamstress. Many of my friends had similar backgrounds. The term "middle class" usually referred to teachers, accountants, business owners. Their houses weren't any better than mine, but they took more family vacations and drove newer cars. The rich kids lived in a different part of town and wore better clothes. Okay, so who would be considered ordinary people and who wouldn't?

I had an interesting conversation with my daughter a few years back about the concept of middle class. According to her contemporaries, they were all middle class – wives of policemen and wildly successful entrepreneurs, children of recent immigrants and single women living on their credit cards. Are they all ordinary people?

Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see who benefits from the government's goodie bag. I just want to go on record as being an extra-ordinary person who deserves a break.

Real Life Soap Operas

Does anyone admit to following their favorite soap? I recently noticed a short ad for "Days of our Lives" and discovered Marlena and John are still dealing with the evils of Stefano. It's been at least 15 years since I watched the show – confined to bed rest with a back injury. What is it about the lives of these fictitious people living in a make-believe town that continues to attract attention? But, who needs make-believe when the real thing is available 24/7?

I can live without the trials and tribulations of perfectly-dressed people of "Salem" who never go to work or take care of their children. But I can't seem to live without my daily dose of the real-life soap operas that are happening right here.

Besides newspapers, which I'll never give up until they go broke and fold, most of my news comes from my Yahoo home page, emails from the New York Times and the Huffington Post.

With earth-shattering headlines screaming for attention, I usually scroll down to read about Sarah Palin and the infamous new mother Nadya Suleman. What is it about these two that are so irresistible? Am I getting a little loose in the head? Too much time on my hands?

Happily I discovered plenty of company at a casual meeting of a group of women I hadn't seen in over a year. After much discussion about our new president, the lousy economy etc., I couldn't resist bringing up the names of these two pop culture divas. Some of the women were following them more closely and had more current information – where did I go wrong?

As Inauguration euphoria dims and we worry about jobs and nest eggs, we're all in the market for a little "mind candy," and what could be more enticing and dangerous to our health than these two? Wasn't everyone amused by Bristol Palin's announcement that teen abstinence is a lot of hooey? Didn't you just love the way the Religious Right condemned her? Am I the only one eagerly awaiting word from the "father" of Nadya's 14 kids? Is he crazier than she is?

Perhaps we are participating in the kind of media distraction offered by the Lindbergh kidnapping of 1932 in the depths of the depression. Maybe we're just waiting for the gooey movie extravaganzas and Shirley Temple movies to distract us.

Sarah Palin gets my attention because she bought into the fairytale of being the old man's VP and still hangs onto the dream of national office, or at least head of the GOP. Never mind that this holey roller's teen-aged daughter got knocked up, she hasn't looked at map since fifth grade, or sees nothing wrong about asking her subjects to foot the bill for her "work-at-home" days. She fooled a segment of our fellow citizens and she'll probably continue to believe in the illusion created by the crafty McCain handlers. I just can't wait for the next dumb thing to come from her mouth. She's beginning to remind me of OJ who can't stay out of the limelight. Will she end up in a Las Vegas prison? Stay tuned.

And then there's our Mother of Year. Perhaps it was just her dumb luck to drop a litter in the middle of the worst economy in decades, but I can't help wondering how she thought she could support 14 kids. What's up with her parents, and why did her mother suddenly refuse to baby sit? Was it really a sperm donor or a deadbeat dad in hiding? She's just as clueless as the former beauty queen and just as anxious to grab a microphone. I don't think she'll end up in jail, but I can't wait to see what happens when her brood of babes return home.

Details of the Stimulus Plan elude me, but the twin sagas of Sarah and Nadya demand no mental energy. Is this stranger than fiction? Maybe I should re-position my computer and read about these two sprawled on a sofa with a box of bonbons? This could be the best show in town.

Memories for our Grandchildren

Months ago, I noticed an unusual children's book at the store. I don't remember the title, but it had something to do with creating a record of the grandparent's life – what the world was like as they were growing up. It included things like the kind of school they went to, popular songs of the day, etc.

A novel idea I thought, but wondered how interested kids would be in the lives of old people, even if those old people were their grandparents. It seemed too much about the grandparent and not enough about the child.

I must admit that something like this is a good opportunity to pass on family history that often gets lost.

Realizing I hadn't done a terrific job of telling my kids about my family or what little I know about my husband's, I wrote detailed family histories for photo albums created by my scrapbook-album-expert daughter. I never even thought of writing a family history until she asked me to. Hopefully one day my grandchildren will enjoy reading this, especially because it includes as many funny stories and gossipy tidbits as I could recall.

While family histories created before the little ones were born are important, I also think our grand-offspring should know something about their very early histories – what happened in their lifetimes before they were old enough to know what was going on.

At the moment I have a cardboard box in my closet that holds newspapers from the days of their births, Obama pins and bumper stickers, recipes for their favorite dishes, miscellaneous photos, etc. After watching the celebration and crowds at Obama's Inauguration, I can't wait to see what little pieces of history my niece brings back from her recent trip to Washington, D.C.

The trick will be deciding when to present them with these treasures I've so lovingly assembled. Besides learning a bit of history they were too young to witness themselves, they will learn a little about what was important to me. And so, we're back to the book in the store.

Message from Michael Moore

A friend just forwarded the following letter from Michael Moore. Even if you're not a Moore fan, his message expresses the feelings of so many of us today.



Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
Friends,
This happy, happy day!

We have made it through the Dark Ages and here we are, in one of the most redemptive moments history has ever witnessed. Barack Obama is our best hope to get it right, to heal our national soul, to reach out to the rest of the world with an olive branch instead of shocking brutality.

I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who has worked to make this day happen. For many, the madness goes back, not eight years but twenty-eight years, to the tragic day Reagan was sworn in to dismantle our precious "government of the people" and our beloved way of life.

To all of you who have spoken up and spoken out, who have written letters and marched for peace, for all of you who never gave up, you are the true heroes today. Many of you have suffered great economic losses. Some of you have endured a loved one being shipped overseas to senseless and shameful wars, and thousands of you have seen those loved ones returned home, no longer alive. It has been a heartbreaking time.

But the sun comes out at noon today. The disgraced outgoing president will slide out the side door and head to Crawford to sell the Hollywood set known as the Bush "ranch" before he settles down in an exclusive neighborhood in Dallas. I would encourage Mr. Bush to issue one final pardon before noon today -- his own. He had better issue a blanket pardon for all crimes that may have been committed since 2001 by himself, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the whole gang. Serious laws were broken, a war was concocted on a lie, and now, please, justice must be carried out.

So let us move forward and fix the horrible mess we are in. We are fortunate to have a new president who is smart and kind and committed to serving his country. Take a moment today and think about what you can do to join him in helping him do his job. We're all in this together. Our country has been so profoundly wrecked by an administration who decided to mug our constitution and then steal what they can for their Wall Street cronies on the way out the door.

Here is my plea: Let's not leave Barack Obama alone to clean up the mess. As he takes his oath today, please take one yourself -- to work harder than ever to end these wars, create universal health care, save our planet, end poverty, increase knowledge and establish a true government "of, by and for the people" (instead of "of, by and for the lobbyists, the bankers, and the war profiteers").

On a personal note, it's no secret that I have had to suffer an avalanche of hate and attack as I stuck my neck out to simply do my job. Some day I will tell you what the true cost of this has been for me, but not today. Today is a time for celebration and optimism and hope. I'm glad we all lived to see this incredible moment. And I thank each of you for your support of my work and your dedication to our democracy.

12:01pm can't come soon enough! Happy Inauguration Day!

Yours,
Michael Moore

Quick, Someone Pinch Me

Could this really be happening? Will W really be out of Washington less than 24 hours from now? Is is possible that our country's long nightmare is about to end? And what about Darth Vader's mishap with his moving boxes? Was he really packing up his own loot? I suspect he was looking for the opportunity to be AWOL on Tuesday. W probably won't even know where he is, but Cheney won't have an easy time watching the giddy crowds hanging on every word of Obama's Inaugural address. I wonder if he'll connect the excitement of a new administration with the excitement over the demise of the current mobsters. Probably not.

Up until yesterday, the talking heads and TV commentators were falling over themselves in shock that The Evil One didn't apologize for waging on war on trumped up evidence, trampling all over the Constitution and nearly destroying our economy. Give me a break, did they really think is was capable of admitting his mistakes?

All I can say is good riddance to bad garbage. He's almost gone and the party has been going on since Saturday. Was I the only one getting chills watching the excitement at yesterday's concert at the Lincoln Memorial? It brought back visions of Martin Luther King Jr. on that exact spot so many years ago. Only it felt like yesterday. Yesterday when people of all colors came together in hope of a better tomorrow. Hope that a leader of intelligence and integrity had appeared. He makes me feel like a kid again, ready to do my part and follow the leader of all Americans. When was the last time we felt proud of being Americans, anyway?

Prominent and not-so-prominent Afro-Americans have had microphones shoved in their faces and asked what the election of the first Afro-American president meant to them. Did anyone even have to ask? As a white woman, who witnessed the racial struggle of the '60s and '70s, and still going on today, I also never felt this day would happen in my lifetime. The sight of a "Whites Only" sign in a Lake Worth, Florida train station sometime in 1965 is etched in my brain. Could this really be happening?

America will have more than a new president tomorrow. We will finally be able to turn the page on duplicity, dishonesty and deceit. We know we continue to live in a dangerous world, our economy will take years to repair, people will have to wait for affordable health care, and our public education system may not be fixed until our grandchildren are in college. We also know we have a leader and administration that understand our needs and will work hard to address them.

Is anyone as excited as I am?

What Was Old Is New Again

Will Shop (Industrial Arts) and Home Ec return to the school curriculum? If they do, local schools will have to drag retired teachers back into the classroom.

The 60-ish females among us remember struggling with sewing machines and counting the stitches of our hand-sewing. Wasn't there a bit of pride connected to attaching a button in the right place, or actually wearing something we made ourselves? Even if the seams were crooked? Remember struggling to crack an egg or measure flour – only to retrieve a "rock cake" from the oven? We had a lot of laughs back then, dressed up in our hand-made aprons and hairnets.

My husband still uses the shoe-shine box he made in Junior High. A cockeyed little cabinet with sticky drawers holds odd bits of stuff in our bathroom. He's never made anything since, but the evidence tells him he once could.

Growing up in a working class family (does that term even exist anymore?), my father taught both his daughters how to change a tire, and the fine art of tapping a cranky carburetor with a thick glass Coke bottle.

Fast forward 40 or 50 years and my very-educated daughter doesn't know how to attach a button or repair a seam. Luckily she married a man with practical skills. She, like many of our daughters, are a product of the times. We were so busy grooming them for the Board Room, that we neglected teaching them skills they could use in the kitchen. Home Economics and Shop classes disappeared before they were born, as misguided school administrators decided preparing kids for college was their priority. Didn't they ever worry about who would repair their cars or upholster their furniture?

My son-in-law learned how to fix things from his "handy" father. If my husband and I had a son, his first response to a flat tire would be a call to Triple A. Why get your hands dirty when you can pay someone else to do it? It never dawned on us that this wouldn't be the case.

But times are changing and our kids are being smacked with a new reality. Classes teaching the art of correcting a leaky faucet or fixing a bicycle are popping up all over the place. Aren't you glad you can do this stuff? The same marketers who pitched expensive cell phones and flat-screen TVs, are now doing an about-face.

I started thinking about this today after reading an article in the Los Angeles Times.

"Those TiVo-less few, who might actually have to sit through a commercial, may have noticed a recent change in those messages too. In September, for instance, Target Corp. launched its "New Day" campaign to tap into the zeitgeist and emphasize low prices. One commercial shows the following images and comments: a man biking to work -- "the new commute, bike $59.99"; a woman doing sit-ups outside -- "the new gym, the new gym ball $11.88"; and a father cutting his child's hair -- "the new barbershop, clippers $14.99."

Does that mean riding a bike for anything other than recreation or doing sit-ups on the living room floor is back in style? Will our kids learn how to fix broken toasters? Will they actually mend torn jeans rather than toss them out?

The good news is that they will now be forced learn practical skills we may have neglected to teach them. The bad news is that all of this is happening because of a lousy economy, and it's hitting them especially hard.

We'll all get through this somehow, and hopefully be a little wiser. Our kids will learn how to do more with less and we'll be right there to show them how.

Angels Under the Hood

I used to chuckle at the "three times a charm" thing, but I won't any more. After two attempts by very competent techies, a programmer in South Africa finally kicked enough tires at Blogger to jolt it back to displaying this blog.

There have been so many interesting things to write about, and it was tough not having this outlet to share my thoughts. But thanks to Frank the Magician, I'm back in business. Besides being a very talented programmer who seems to love a good challenge, he writes a blog of his own, http://frankvw.livejournal.com/. It's must reading for anyone interested in current events in his part of the world.

One good thing to come from this disaster is that I've heard from so many disappointed friends who couldn't access thegraywave. It's nice to know I've been missed.

Welcome back!

Who Put Coal in my Stocking?

I've been a good girl (okay, I'm taking some license here), but Blogger, Google and Go Daddy don't seem to think so. The Gray Wave has disappeared for a few weeks and there doesn't seem to be anyone available to help me out. Bah Humbug.

My friend and very patient technician, Roger, has been scratching his head and offering new suggestions. Hopefully we'll figure out a solution. Maybe he will be playing Santa this year! To everyone who has been unable to visit with me, I wish you patience, and a very happy holiday!

Finally, Respect on the Tube

No one over the age of 60 disagrees that we have become invisible on the small screen. It seems that advertisers only give us the nod when they're pushing Viagra, sleep aids or cures for digestive ills. Networks have now delivered a major insult to us with the cancellation of "Boston Legal," one of the last programs that appeals to our intellect even though some of the situations are often a bit off-the-wall. I especially love watching the still-beautiful Candace Bergen who seems have said "no thank you" to major facial re-construction. Her scarves and over-sized necklaces do decent job of hiding the "chicken neck" that so many of us deal with.

In its last season, the writers are pulling out all the stops, going after outrageous politicians on the right and finally dealing with the networks' treatment of the mature audience. It was one of the episodes that made me put down my crossword puzzle and really watch the tube. If you missed the episode you can watch it here. In the same epis0de Denny Crane's (William Shatner) mad cow has morphed into Alzheimer's and Alan Shore (James Spader) is headed to the Supreme Court to defend his friend's right to access an experimental drug. Bah humbug to those who insist that women have a monopoly in the friendship department.

Within a day of applauding the brilliant courtroom scene of Carl Sack (played by John Larroquette) sticking it to the network executives, what should appear but a new ad for Kaiser Permanente.

"When I grow up I want to be an old woman," came from the song and video by Michelle Shocked. These terrific old gals are drinking, dancing, turning cartwheels and sporting cheerleader outfits, complete with pom poms. In other words, they're having fun, just like their kids and grand children. Those of us who have raised families know when that stage ends, life just begins to get more interesting.

Okay, so the point of the ad is that Kaiser has a terrific record for breast cancer screenings. If you use their services, you'll live longer and you, too, can be doing tumbling routines into your 80s.

I couldn't do a cartwheel when I was 6 years old, and doubt I'll do one any time soon, but seeing older women celebrating life on television, which has done its best to lock us in the nearest closet, makes a powerful image, even if the image is meant to sell us something.

Are these just random events? Am I projecting too much onto the small screen? I don't have the answer, but at the moment when the economy is in the toilet and we're counting the days until Bush leaves office, I'll take any sign as a move in the right direction.

60 is the new 50?

Where did this idea come from? Perhaps manufacturers of $100 sneakers? Travel companies selling hiking tours? Sure, now that every savvy marketer knows how much disposable income our generation is dying to part with, they're coming up with catchy slogans to reel us in. Unfortunately, the concept seems to have spread beyond the world of slick marketing. Do we really want to be 10 years younger?

Many of us were still paying our kids' college tuitions then. We were working longer hours to keep up with the 30-year-old in the next office. You know, the ambitious one who never turned off her cel phone or the one who spent weekends with his Blackberry?

True, more sixtysomethings are still in the work force. Diet and exercise, along with a little nip and tuck here and there means we look younger. But, did somebody bother to tell our bodies that we're still 50? Don't you love the ads for pain relievers that promise to keep us playing tennis until we drop?

To be honest, I snickered at contemporaries who complained about aches and pains until one day I realized how much slower I was walking. A day of babysitting a three-year-old grand child left me exhausted. My memory isn't as reliable as it once was, but I seem to remember being able to do much more physical activity 10 years ago. Well, that's okay because having free time to babysit means I don't have to work the next day.

What exactly is so bad about being 60 that we have to trick ourselves into thinking those years have been magically erased? Why do we have to knock ourselves out trying to compete? I've done all the hiking I want to do and a cruise doesn't sound so bad right now.

It's possible that large numbers of folks our age never got to play tennis in their 50s, never had the time or money to take adventurous vacations? Perhaps they are in better physical shape than they used to be. Great for them!

If we take the slogan "60 is the new 50" a bit further, it follows that "30 is the new 20" is also true. That one is even more annoying, and a bit scary. Does that mean that our 30 year-old kids are just getting out of their teens? Does it mean we shouldn't expect them to be at least a little grown up? Where does it all end?

We're not idling away our days on a park bench. Many of us have either retired or decided to work less and do things we enjoy more. Our nest eggs may not be as fat as we expected but we don't need as much either.

Of course, too many of us will face nasty illnesses in the coming years. But for now, being 60 (plus) isn't so bad.